The Other Side of Fall: Why the Change of Season Can Bring Up Unexpected Emotions

There is something about fall that makes us notice things. The air changes. The mornings get darker. The leaves begin to turn.

Summer routines slowly disappear, and suddenly we're pulling sweaters out of closets, making plans for Thanksgiving, thinking about Halloween, hearing Christmas music in stores far earlier than we'd like to admit. Fall is often described as a cozy season. Pumpkin spice. Crisp mornings. Blankets. Candles. Back-to-school excitement. Changing leaves. And all of those things can be lovely. But fall can also bring something else with it.

Feelings. Sometimes feelings we weren't expecting.

The Seasons Around Us Can Stir Something Within Us

We tend to think of seasons as something happening outside of us. The weather changes. The daylight changes. Our routines change. But, we're changing, too.

A new season can act almost like a marker in time. It reminds us that another summer has passed, another year is moving along, and we're entering a different chapter. That can bring excitement. It can also bring sadness. Or both.

You might find yourself feeling perfectly happy as you watch the leaves change, and then suddenly feel a little ache in your chest because you realize your children are another year older. You might be excited about what fall has ahead while simultaneously wishing summer could last just a little longer. You might look forward to Thanksgiving while also noticing the empty chair at the table. You might feel energized by the structure of September while quietly wondering where the year has gone. There doesn't always have to be one emotion. Sometimes a season holds several at once.

The Nostalgia of Fall

For many of us, fall carries memories. Maybe it's the smell of freshly sharpened pencils. The first day of school. A favourite teacher. Playing outside until dinner. Friday night football games. A childhood bedroom. Halloween costumes. Thanksgiving dinners. The sound of leaves under your feet.

Even if you haven't thought about some of these memories in years, something about the season can bring them back. Nostalgia can feel warm and comforting. But, it can also hurt a little...because remembering who we were can remind us that we can't go back.

The people who were there may have changed. Some may no longer be in our lives. The places we remember might look completely different. And we aren't the person we were then, either. There can be something bittersweet about realizing that a moment once felt ordinary because we didn't know it would eventually become a memory.

When Fall Brings Grief

Grief doesn't always arrive on a predictable schedule. Sometimes it appears when we least expect it. A familiar smell. A song. A birthday. Fall can bring up grief connected to a person we've lost, a relationship that ended, a home we left, a version of ourselves we miss, or a life we imagined would look different by now.

Maybe this is the first fall without someone (or the tenth). Maybe you thought you were "over it" and then found yourself unexpectedly emotional while walking through the grocery store and seeing something that reminded you of them. That's not failure. Grief isn't a straight line, and there isn't a point where you're supposed to stop missing someone. Sometimes healing means learning that you can have a good day and still carry sadness.

The Loneliness That Can Hide Beneath the Cozy

Fall is often marketed as a season of togetherness. Friends gathering, family dinners, couples going on autumn dates, children back at school, holiday plans beginning.

But, if you're lonely, all of that togetherness can sometimes make loneliness feel more obvious. You might see people posting pictures of family outings and wonder why your life doesn't look like that. You might be spending more time indoors and realize you haven't connected with anyone in a while. Or you might simply feel a little disconnected without being able to explain why.

Loneliness isn't always dramatic. Sometimes it's just the quiet realization that you'd really like someone to call. And there's nothing embarrassing about that. Humans need connection. Wanting it doesn't make you needy. It makes you human.

The Anxiety of What's Coming

Fall also has a way of making the future feel closer. September can feel like a reset. Schedules fill up. School begins. Work gets busier. Activities start again. Before we know it, we're thinking about Thanksgiving, Halloween, the holidays, year-end deadlines, family gatherings, travel, finances, and everything else that comes with the final months of the year.

For some people, that anticipation is exciting and for others, it can feel like a countdown.

"How is it already October?"

Sometimes the calendar itself can become a source of pressure.

And Then There's the Passage of Time

Perhaps one of the strangest things about fall is how clearly it reminds us that time is moving. Summer ends. The leaves change. The year begins its final stretch; and suddenly we're looking backward.

What have I done this year?

Where am I now?

Am I where I thought I'd be?

These questions aren't necessarily bad ones, but reflection can be meaningful (even though sometimes we turn reflection into judgment). We compare the life we have with the life we thought we'd have by now; we compare ourselves with people who seem further ahead. We look at our goals from January and decide we've failed because we haven't checked every box. But a year doesn't have to be perfectly productive to have been meaningful. Your life isn't a checklist.

You Can Be Excited and Sad at the Same Time

This might be one of the most important things to remember as we move into a new season: Two things can be true.

You can love fall and miss summer.

You can feel grateful for your life and still wish something were different.

You can be happy for a friend while grieving something you don't have.

We sometimes put pressure on ourselves to figure out which emotion is the "real" one, but emotions aren't a multiple-choice question. We can hold more than one at a time.

Maybe You Don't Need to Fix the Feeling

We're often encouraged to manage, regulate, reframe, or move past difficult emotions, and sometimes those things are helpful. But, not every uncomfortable feeling is a problem that needs to be solved. Sometimes sadness is simply sadness. Nostalgia can be something to sit with. Grief needs to be acknowledged.

Instead of immediately asking: "How do I make this feeling go away?" you might try asking: "What is this feeling trying to tell me?"

Maybe you're missing someone, or need more connection. Maybe you're ready for something to change, or you're noticing how quickly your children are growing. Maybe you don't know yet and that's okay, too.

Let Fall Be a Season of Noticing

We don't have to turn every season into a personal transformation project. You don't need a perfect fall routine or to reinvent yourself, make the most of every weekend. Romanticizing every moment isn't necessary. You can simply notice.

Notice what you miss.

Notice what you're looking forward to.

Notice what feels different.

Notice what makes you feel alive.

Notice who you want to spend more time with.

And maybe, as the world around you changes, give yourself permission to change a little, too.

A Few Questions to Carry Into the Season

If you're feeling reflective this fall, consider sitting with a few of these questions:

• What does fall bring up for me?

• What memories tend to surface this time of year?

• Is there anything or anyone I find myself missing?

• What am I looking forward to?

• What am I anxious about?

• Where do I feel lonely?

• What has changed in my life since last fall?

• Is there anything I'm putting unnecessary pressure on myself to accomplish before the year ends?

• What would it look like to simply be present for this season instead of trying to make it perfect?

You don't have to have an answer for every question, sometimes the noticing is enough.

There Is More Than One Side to Fall

Fall can be beautiful and, it can also be complicated. It can bring comfort and discomfort, excitement and grief, connection and loneliness, reflection and anticipation. Maybe that's part of what makes it meaningful.

The changing leaves remind us that change is happening whether we're ready for it or not, and perhaps we don't always have to resist that. We can let ourselves feel what comes up, make room for the memories, and acknowledge the grief. We can enjoy the good moments without needing them to erase the difficult ones. Remind ourselves that moving into a new season doesn't mean leaving everything behind.

If This Season Feels Heavy

If the change of season is bringing up emotions that feel difficult to understand or carry, whether that's grief, loneliness, anxiety, relationship stress, or simply a sense that something feels different, therapy can offer a space to slow down and explore what's underneath those feelings. You don't need to have everything figured out before reaching out.

At LEO Psychotherapy, we're here to help you make sense of what you're carrying, wherever you happen to be in your season of life. Sometimes you don't need to fix the feeling, you just need a safe place to understand it.